PCSD (post colic stress disorder)
Colic. Described as infantile excessive crying for at least 3 hours a day, for at least 3 days a week.
Although any mother with a colicky baby will tell you - it isn’t 3 hours a day, it is all day, everyday.
That’s how my first 3 months were with Tate. If he wasn’t sleeping or feeding, he was screaming. Not crying - i mean, back arching, red faced, painful screaming. The only thing that would sometimes settle him was getting in the shower with him (not the bath), or turning on Hey Sensory Bear on YouTube.
As first time parents, this isn’t only hard, it is truly traumatising. Not only that, but really the only advice offered when reaching out in panic and exhaustion is “oh, they’ll grow out of it” or suggestions about what you could be doing wrong with feeding/settling. The feeling of failure you get when someone offers to take your screaming baby as they tell you how you should be settling them is overwhelming. Even when you watch their ‘technique’ also fail (which you knew it would because AS IF you haven’t tried EVERYTHING already - you don’t feel smug, you then feel embarrassed that you haven’t produced the cute, cuddly baby everyone was expecting during your pregnancy.
I was lucky, Tate mostly ‘grew’ out of his colic at about 4 months old on the dot (it can last 6 months or longer). I was through the thick of it, and was able to have some play time FINALLY with my little one, giving me some smiles. I was able to close the tabs of my google searches ‘screaming baby, what am i doing wrong’, ‘do i just have a grumpy baby’, ‘breastfeeding mothers diet for colicky babies’, ‘colic medication’, ‘Panadol for colic, does it work?’ Etc etc.
It wasn’t until i was then in my local baby shop, stocking up on the particular brand of dummies that Tate will take when I heard the familiar colic cry. It wasn’t Tate, he was at home with his Dad, it was another baby. It sent chills up my spine, i immediately shrunk into myself, i lost my breath. It was in that moment that i realised truly how traumatising having a colicky baby can be for a new Mum.
I have since decided to look into the link between colic and postpartum depression - do my own meta analysis of the information out there. What i found is that there are SO many studies finding strong links between excessive infantile crying and PPD in mothers.
“Both infantile colic and prolonged crying were associated with high maternal depression scores. Most noteworthy, infantile colic at 2 months of age was associated with high maternal depression scores 4 months later” - Torstein Vik et al. 2009. Infantile colic, prolonged crying and maternal postnatal depression. Acta Paediatr.
“Postpartum maternal depressive symptoms and insecure attachment style are associated with infantile colic. Screening and early intervention of postpartum depression might promote the health of both the mother and infant.” - Ackman, K. Et al. 2006. Mothers’ postpartum psychological adjustment and infantile colic’. Arch Dis Child. 91(5); 417-419
“Depression and inconsolability are strong predictors of one another”. “One in three women with fussy infants acknowledged they were depressed.” - Study from Brown University
Not only are there hundreds of studies finding a link between colic and PPD in mothers - but there are also studies that then show the link between this and the impact on the broader family functioning:
“Some families with new babies face excessive infant crying, or colic. And some new mothers go through maternal post-Parton depression following shield birth. Neither situation is considered health, but a recent study published in the Infant Mental Health Journal has found that the combined impact of colic and PPD cash have a highly toxic outcome. Researchers have linked colicky babies and maternal depression to decrease in overall family functioning.” - Lifespan. “New Study Links Colic, Maternal Depression to Family Problems.” ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 29 May 2005.
Through all of my reading, i did not find the answer to colic. I did however find there is a strong need for the communication and understanding for families going through this. Colic is not life threatening, and will resolve itself with time, but the residual impact of this on families may not resolve itself as quickly.
Why is this not spoken about more? All we can do is speak out, speak up, support each other, love each other and be kind.
You are not alone Mumma! If you need a ‘holy shit this is so hard’ moment, i am ALL EARS. Please reach out, it was other Mums that had been through what i had been through that got me through the days, weeks and months.
As one Mum said to me during my bad patch:
”Mothers are absolutely incredible. Mothers of colicky babies are superhero’s”
H xx