2 Tips & 2 Products for Managing Mental Load

This is a quick list i have thrown together as some of these really helped me this week, and when a friend called sharing her overwhelm, the amount i rely on these became so clear.

The mental load that comes with parenting can be so overwhelming. The things we have to store in our heads - do i have enough food to put something together for dinner? When was that child health nurse appointment? Have i taken that load of laundry out of the washing machine? Did i turn the hose off from filling up the pool? I should check the sprinklers because that patch of grass is dying. When is my car due for a service? etc etc.

I certainly dont claim to have it all together, but recently when needing to go back to work i had to really focus on clearing my head and reducing the noise.

The below list are things that have certainly helped me, there is no affiliates or advertising here, anything mentioned are things i genuinely find super useful.

1. Share with your partner

   Have you ever discussed the idea of ‘mental load’ with your partner? It is something that i know my husband hadnt really considered until i shared some great podcast episodes with him - i find that when he hears someone else talk about it he ‘hears’ it much better because it isnt coming across as a ‘nag’ from me.

   My absolute favourite Mum podcast is The Tired Mummy Podcast by Alice Lanesbury.

   (I highly recommend the episode released on 19 December 2022 called Relationships in Matrescence)

   
   
   If you are raising your bub/s with a partner, then definitely one of the most important things to do when you are feeling overwhelmed is to talk to talk to them. The old ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ absolutely comes into play here.

   I find when i am getting super overwhelmed i end up just getting angry or frustrated and snapping at my husband. And yes we can get into the age old argument of ‘initiative’ and ‘they should think of these things too’, and yes i completely agree. BUT honestly, pigs will fly before that happens, right? So sometimes if i say ‘can you sort out XXX for this week?’, it gives him something specific to own and then it is off my plate and i dont have to yell it at him later in the week.

   So, what part of the mental load can you delegate to this week? It might be the meals, or organising the daycare for the week, or booking appointments - or all of the above! Get it out of your brain and into someone elses!
   

2. Outsourcing

   Here i am talking to others outside of the house.

   Meals

   I highly recommend Hello Fresh, or if your budget allows This Little Pig Went to Market (my personal local fave). There are so many benefits to these, but the best part is not having to think about what you need to cook or buy for the week, it is sorted for you. Plus, when the question of ‘what do you want for dinner’ inevitably gets thrown at you, you can just say ‘pick a meal and cook it’.

   Cleaning

   Hiring a cleaner is something that i haven’t done yet, but i certainly have been thinking about it, especially now that i am back to work! It is an added cost, but maybe having someone come in and do the floors, dusting and the bathrooms would be totally worth it. Even just an ad hoc deep clean when things get super overwhelming would help.

   Other things that come to mind that you can outsource are:

   • Gardening

   • Lawns

   • Laundry

   • Pool cleaning

3. Apple Watch

   Not so much a tip… but a product i have only recently been given as a gift and now i cannot live without!

   I got an apple watch as a birthday gift from my hubby last year and i thought the novelty would wear off quickly like it did for my ipad a few years ago - but no, i am still obsessed.

   It is like a personal assistant! I use it to:

   • dictate reminders to myself,

   • to set alarms,

   • timers,

   • to text people without needing to find my phone…

   • i also use it to find my phone because i am always putting it down and forget where i put it!

   • It reminds me to move and to take deep breaths.

   • It has an easy to use flashlight, which is super handy when i am up in the night trying to find a dummy or trying to measure out nurofen without turning the lights on and totally waking the baby up.

   • It can even remotely link to your phone camera - so if i am at a friend house an put the baby down for a nap, i can put my phone in there with the camera on and see him on my wrist!

     I swear, being a mum should come with an apple watch as default :P

4. Planner/ Diary

Those of you who know me well, know i am an avid planner.

I do use my google calendar for appointments that both my husband and i have access to, but nothing beats just putting pen to paper. I really find it helps get information out of my head and create space and clarity more that using just a digital planner/calendar.

Disconnecting from the digital world as you braindump your week onto paper can get a lot more out of the noggin’ than trying to plan out your week as notifications and emails fly at you.

I used to customise my planners, but i just dont find i have the time to keep up with that now, so i purchased the Lorna Jane Active Living Diary for 2023 and am loving it. Its beautiful and has monthly and weekly calendars, monthly goal setting with weekly check ins, habit trackers and note sections. Its everything i would need in a diary!

What do you do that helps you keep focussed and reduce your mental load? Share your tips in the comments section to help other parents out there

H xx